Who to Call When Someone Dies: Contact Priority Guide

In the hours and days after a death, numerous phone calls must be made. Knowing who to call, when to call them, and what to say can reduce stress during an already overwhelming time. This guide provides a prioritized contact list with scripts and important details for each call.

Steps to Take: Immediate Calls (First 1-2 Hours)

These calls address the most urgent needs and must be made as soon as possible.

1. Medical Authority (If Needed)

Call immediately if:

• Death occurred at home without medical care
• No hospice was involved
• You need a legal pronouncement of death

Who to call:

• 911 for unexpected deaths at home
• Attending physician for expected deaths under medical care
• County coroner/medical examiner if required by your state

What to say: "My [relationship], [name], has passed away at [location]. I need a legal pronouncement of death. Can you please send someone?"

2. Funeral Home

When to call:

• After pronouncement of death
• As soon as you have selected a funeral home

What information to provide:

• Deceased's full name
• Location of the body
• Your name and relationship
• Whether arrangements were pre-planned

Questions to ask:

• "When can you transport the body?"
• "What documents do you need from me?"
• "When can we meet to discuss arrangements?"

3. Closest Family Members

Priority order:

1. Spouse or partner (if not present)
2. Adult children
3. Parents (if living)
4. Siblings

What to say: "I am calling to tell you that [name] passed away [time] at [location]. [He/She] was [optional: peaceful/quick/brief description]. The funeral home is [handling transport/scheduling a meeting]. I will call you back with more details as soon as I have them."

Important: Ask them not to post on social media until all close family has been notified.

Steps to Take: Essential Notifications (First 24 Hours)

These calls should be made within the first day, but they can wait until after the immediate family has been notified.

Employer

Contact: Human Resources department

What to say: "I am calling to report the death of [name], who worked in [department]. I am [relationship/executor]. Please let me know about any benefits, life insurance, or procedures I need to follow."

Information to request:

• Life insurance through work
• 401(k) or pension benefits
• Accrued vacation or sick pay
• Contact for benefits department

Social Security Administration

Phone: 1-800-772-1213

What to say: "I need to report the death of [name], Social Security number [XXX-XX-XXXX]. [He/She] passed away on [date]."

Important notes:

• Benefits received after death must be returned
• Ask about survivor benefits eligibility
• The funeral home often reports this automatically, but confirm

Veterans Affairs (If Applicable)

Phone: 1-800-827-1000

What to say: "I am calling to report the death of [name], who was a veteran. Service number [if known]. I would like information about burial benefits and survivor benefits."

Benefits to ask about:

• Burial allowance
• Flag for the casket
• Headstone or marker
• Survivor pension benefits

Life Insurance Companies

What to say: "I am calling to report a death and begin a claim. Policy number [if known]. The insured, [name], passed away on [date]. I am the [beneficiary/executor]."

Information to request:

• Claim forms needed
• Required documentation (death certificate)
• Expected timeline for processing

Steps to Take: Important Calls (Days 2-7)

These notifications are important but can be made after the first 24 hours.

Banks and Financial Institutions

What to say: "I am calling to report that [name], account holder, passed away on [date]. I am the [executor/beneficiary/joint account holder]. Please tell me the next steps for this account."

Important:

• Do not close accounts immediately
• Ask about automatic payments
• Request account statements
• Ask about safe deposit box procedures

Credit Card Companies

What to say: "I need to report that the cardholder, [name], has passed away. Account number [last 4 digits]. I am the [executor/spouse]. Please cancel the card and tell me about any outstanding balance."

Mortgage Company or Landlord

What to say: "I am calling about the [property address/mortgage account]. The [owner/borrower], [name], passed away on [date]. I am [relationship] and will be handling the estate. Please send information about next steps."

Utilities and Services

Keep essential services active:

• Electricity and gas
• Water
• Home security

Services to consider canceling:

• Cable and internet (if home will be unoccupied)
• Newspaper delivery
• Subscription services

Steps to Take: Extended Notifications (First Month)

These can be addressed after the immediate needs are handled.

Extended Family and Friends

Consider asking family members to help spread the word. Provide them with:

• Service date, time, and location
• Whether flowers or donations are preferred
• How to reach you with condolences

Professional Contacts

• Accountant or tax preparer
• Financial advisor
• Attorney
• Insurance agents

Organizations and Memberships

• Religious organizations
• Clubs and associations
• Alumni groups
• Professional organizations

What We Wish We Had Known

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Notification Timing Mistakes

• Posting on social media before family is notified
• Waiting too long to notify employers (affects benefits)
• Not documenting who has been notified
• Forgetting to notify people who were close but not family

Communication Mistakes

• Providing too much medical detail
• Making promises about assets or belongings
• Speaking negatively about the deceased
• Forgetting to update people with service information

Documentation Mistakes

• Not keeping a log of who you spoke with and when
• Not getting reference numbers for calls
• Failing to request written confirmation
• Not asking for direct phone numbers for follow-up

Phone Call Script Templates

For Extended Family

"Hello [name], this is [your name]. I am calling with sad news. [Deceased's name] passed away [when]. [He/She] was [optional brief context]. The service is being planned for [if known]. I wanted you to hear this from family rather than through other channels. How are you doing?"

For Professional Contacts

"Hello, this is [your name]. I am calling on behalf of [deceased's name]'s estate. [He/She] passed away on [date], and I am the [executor/family representative]. I need to discuss [specific matter]. Do you have time to talk now, or should we schedule a call?"

For Service Providers

"This is [your name]. I am calling to report that [account holder's name] passed away on [date]. The account number is [number]. I am [relationship] and am handling the estate. Can you tell me your procedure for this situation?"

What to Do If You Cannot Reach Someone

Sometimes you cannot reach important contacts immediately:

• Leave detailed voicemail messages
• Send follow-up text or email
• Try calling at different times
• Ask mutual contacts for alternative numbers
• Document your attempts

Sources

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More Resources

• What to Do in the First 24 Hours After Someone Dies
• Documents Needed When Someone Dies
• First 24 Hours Checklist

Our Celebration of Life Book includes a comprehensive contact organizer to help your family know exactly who to call.